Brandon Pence

I’m actually kind of proud of this update because it’s not exactly late or overdue… just a ton has happened in the past week or so. Really exciting, actually. If I have seemed quiet or distant from you on a personal level it’s because I have just been crazy busy lately.

Anyways, onto the stuff.

My latest digital art piece, “Mote”

As always, it is available in high-resolution in my digital art portfolio.

“Mote” was my first big local collaboration; myself, Melissa Thurber,Skye Sabrina Zimmerman, Lauren Nicole Brownlow, Dawn Newton and Rachel Healy collaborated together on this piece. They all shot the original model (Skye) and Melissa sent me 4 pictures to choose from to run with. It was an interesting idea; she gave me complete freedom on the project and I’m really happy with how it turned out. I hope we can all work together more in the future!

You can see a “Making Of” video of “Mote” here:

“Tragyk” Mask Series on display at the Northwest Florida Arts Association’s Art Lair

Here’s something I kept almost entirely off of the internet: the fact that I was making masks for an art exhibit. It’s very rare that I experiment outside of my normal digital art medium and I wanted it to be special.

A little bit of backstory… I actually came up with the idea for the exhibit the masks would display in: “Reveal Yourself.” When I say “I came up with it” I mean it in the most American form of the word; I saw it somewhere and wanted to do my own version. I was watching the George Romero movie Bruiser (one of my fav’s, the Misfits are in it, I mean come on) and I thought the “party” scene would be a fantastic idea for an art exhibit. I pitched it to Brandi Lee and she loved it and I think I pitched it to Angel Agagas as well, and then finally went to Holly with it and it was a go.

We had a lot of internal debates regarding the show: how to judge it, how to keep uniformity, ceramic or plastic masks, etc. A lot of people were afraid no one would enter because we were now asking people to pay for masks but this never concerned me and I never feared it. Artists are people that embrace challenge and $5 is easily worth an exciting artistic challenge; I’m glad to see I was proven right. The turn out was fantastic! Thank you to everyone who came out, it was a fantastic reception and I had a great time!

I wasn’t sure how my masks would turn out or what I would use to make them. The whole concept is foreign to me. Angel and I went to AC Moore and cleaned them out. I bought 4 and she bought 2; I also bought one little half mask because I wanted to test. Test what? Shit if I know… I’ll sort that out later!

Angel gave me a bag of random supplies she felt I could use; a few paint brushes, a few paint kits, a big tube of black paint, big tube of red paint, a pencil, and eraser, and glitter. Yep, glitter.

That night I went home and started doodling on the small mask, testing to see if a sharpie would write on the masks. The sharpie proved to be a success.

I was sitting there looking at it and I lit a stick of incense with a butane lighter I had and then I realized the masks were made of plastic… as a kid I used to love melting plastic toys (to the surprise of no one…) so I was quite practiced in the art of melting shit.

I decided to give it a shot so I went out on my balcony and tried burning it…

I LOVED this result. I texted it to a bunch of friends, in particular Charles. Then this conversation transpired…

Charles: Fire reveals character. Amazing work.
Brandon: I need a fucking blow torch.
Charles: I have a mini one
Brandon: may need to skip that and just invest in an Aliens style flame thrower, man.
Charles: You’re scaring me. If you want the small one, let me know.
Brandon: Dude for realsies? Sure. Im down lol
Charles: Ok…ill try to remember to give it to angel in the morning
Brandon: Oh shit yeah son.
Charles: I will fuel your fire
Brandon: Im the firestarter! Twisted firestarter!
Charles: Fear addicted danger illustrated
Brandon: That was a damn good album, man.
Brandon: I had a poster of that album cover on my wall. Real talk.
Charles: Agreed…we are a jilted generation.

Yeah okay maybe I could have cut that convo off but that shit made me laugh so I’m putting it here. Charles, you rock man. You rock.

Anyways.

So then I had a blowtorch. Awesome. Fucking awesome. A BLOWTORCH, MAN. YEAH.

I couldn’t wait to try it. I drew out a quick sketch of how I wanted it to be…

Then I broke out the blowtorch!

Let it cool down and painted it…

Then more blowtorch!

So one mask was definitely finished and I was very proud of it! I loved it! It gave me the confidence I needed to make 3 more.

The next mask was just sort of jumped into. I wanted to test what happened to the mask if I painted it before burning it…

I thought that was a really cool effect. On the next mask I wanted to try melting various things over the mask…

I melted caution tape, sharpies and jelly wrist bracelets over it. Then I poured glitter all over it because damnit, Angel gave it to me so I’m going to use it!

On a side note, black sharpies burn like CRAZY when you cut them open. The black metallic ones burn neon green and blue. Really beautiful, actually. I mean it sucks when you’re not expecting it and it’s fucking EVERYWHERE but in a controlled situation it’d be amazing to photograph.

The final mask I wanted to try and combine everything I had learned with the previous masks. I drew the design first…

Then I burned it with the blowtorch…

Then I painted it… this was the most elaborate painting I did on any of the masks…

Then I burned it again!

Finally at the show, I actually won 2nd Place!

So that is my Tragyk series. The masks are on display right now at the Northwest Florida Arts Association’s Art Lair in Downtown Fort Walton Beach, Florida. It is a part of the “Reveal Yourself” show that is on display until February 11, 2012. Stop by and check them out!

I may do more masks in the future. I really had a blast making these. Plus… Charles got me a blowtorch for Christmas!

Northwest Florida Arts Association Art Week Photoshop Class

My class at the NWFLAA’s Art Week went very well.Thank you to everyone that came out! The class was a lot of fun and I look forward to teaching more in the future.

“Warthog Shot Dead By Canon”

This part weekend I joined the NWFLAA Photography Group on their journey to the Gulf Breeze Zoo. I haven’t been to a zoo since I was a kid so I was excited to join my friends on this adventure. It was early as hell (had to get up at 6) but it was fun. On 2 hours of sleep, Charles and Angel picked me up from my apartment and we were off!

We got to the zoo right as it opened and met up with Holly, the Photography Group leader, and the other photographers. We purchased our tickets for the zoo and the train ride and went to check out the animals.

Honestly… zoos are WAY crazier than I remember as I kid. We saw a Warthog fall over, spasm and die in front of us. We were then asked to leave the area. It was interesting watching the reaction of the cougar in the next cage… the predatory nature never fully leaves us, no matter how calm we may seem on the outside. It was really fascinating to watch. No children were around for the Warthog incident and the staff responded immediately and took care of everything professionally. By no means was it a negative experience; the Gulf Breeze Zoo and their staff are great. It’s just… you know… the Circle of Life? Yep. Went Lion King on it. It happened.

The animals were so friendly and into people, though. The llamas, goats, monkeys, all of them really seem excited to be around people. Maybe it was because they just opened so they all thought we might have food but it was really cool.

Here are some random pictures I took with my cell phone. Yes, my cell phone. I took my Canon 50D and my camera bag and I think I took 10 pictures with it and never touched it again. I haven’t even looked at the pictures. I really don’t consider myself a photographer. However I had a great time with the group and the zoo kicked ass.

Thanks for reading. My goal for next month is to get a much nicer comment system working on this website so hopefully some discussion can start here.

Just a reminder for those who don’t follow all of my ridiculous social networking sites, my site will be blacked out January 18th, 2012.

This was one of the hardest challenges I have ever faced as an artist. “Stray Bullet” has so many unique things about it that I’m not sure where to start. Let’s go back a few years… I’m not entirely sure on the exact time frame (2 years maybe?) but it was at night in Fountain Square in Downtown Fort Walton Beach. Steve Burrows, Brad Greek and myself were sitting out in front of the old Artesano Jewels (now the NWFLAA Art Lair) discussing art and artists.

Somehow we got onto the subject of what defines an artist; one of my favorite subjects to discuss, especially with those 2. As we discussed it, I threw myself to the dogs as to whether I was a “real” artist or not. Brad asked me if I had ever done a self portrait; I told him I had not, and he told me every artist has to challenge themselves with a self portrait. That just stuck in the back of my head for awhile… that I wanted to do one now that I had been challenged to do so. It’s just my rebellious nature.

I toyed with different ideas for awhile… as far back as March 11, 2010. That is when Jennifer and I did the photoshoot for my Alice in Wonderland pictures. I was toying with the idea of having one of my models slitting my throat as a clever little joke. We shot a few test pics but I just never liked the idea enough. Here’s one of the test shots:

Never ran with it. Just didn’t feel right to me so I sacked it.

The need to do a self portrait never solidified fully in my mind until I finished my piece, “Horizons:”

Allow me to explain…

Years ago when I first got fired from Cuppy’s Coffee and began doing art for fun, I posted my work on Deviant Art. For shits and giggles I decided to number my first print to separate my new work from my old work. I posted it on Deviant Art as “1 – Freedom” and continued the naming tradition with all of my prints. Sort of inspired by (or absolutely ripping off) the Nine Inch Nails Halo concept; that some works of a collective can be recognized as specific “canon” of sort. How does Horizons fit in? It was #49.

Yep. 49 pieces of art since January 14, 2008 (the date Freedom was posted on deviant art). Pretty cool. But now… fuck. I have to do a self portrait. Just cause.

I’m like that.

Anyways.

Now I had to come up with an idea… my next idea was a more space based theme. This was around September. It didn’t get far for me to realize the idea was shit. However I can embrace that some good ideas will encounter failure so here is the sample I did for that theme:

Sacked it. Hated it.

The next idea, since I was having a hard time defining a style for myself, was going to be a portrait of me made of words. I made a post on my Facebook asking people to describe me with one word. I fed all of the words into a PHP script and had the sizes and words randomly chosen. I did not use all of the words. There is a significance to the number of words I feel is personal and I don’t want to share it right now. If you submitted a word and yours didn’t get used, I appreciate your help, but I never indicated what this was for. I simply asked and you delivered and I appreciate you helping me; let’s leave it at that. =)

I will use all of the words for projects in the future, no worries.

When I noticed Tai Jun hadn’t responded to my FB post I asked him to describe me personally. His immediate response was “fuck.” This was also the response of my boss Kevin Almodovar, by the way…

Anyways TJ asked me why. I told him “no reason” and he said something to the effect of “if you’re thinking of doing one of those stupid portraits where the person is made out of words… don’t.”

Damnit.

Sacked it. Back to the drawing board.

A few weeks went by and I started toying with the idea of basing my self portrait on my personal favorite piece of mine: “Birth.”

“Birth” has always been my favorite piece. It’s not a popular one at all; it’s just my favorite. It’s with the model Sarah Ebear and I think I like it because it was one of the first times I trusted my heart completely with my art. Before that I would take criticism and sometimes alter too much. With “Birth” I did some samples of it to test the idea I had; to combine vector elements with a raster portrait. I did a test that in all honesty was absolutely dreadful…

I was originally going to use Azrael Nightmare for it. She is the model above. I did that test and I was so excited; I knew my idea would work. I remember emailing that to Tai Jun, one of my closest friends. I normally bounce ideas off of TJ when I’m excited so that he can crush my spirit and make me apathetic to the entire idea. I showed him that and I was like “Dude check it out. It will totally work.” He took one look at it and was like “…what the fuck is this?” I was like “IT’S FUCKING AWESOME AND IT’S EVIDENCE MY IDEA WILL WORK SHUT UP”

I just knew it would. I knew in my heart this idea would be cool. Even when I started “Birth” it was crap. It sucked for a long time.

Hard to look at that and stay motivated. I stuck with it though and it paid off. I have always been very proud of that piece and it remains my favorite.

Before I settled on the idea I actually called up Sarah Ebear. Sarah put herself in her artwork a lot so I wanted to get her perspective on the whole thing. Whether it’s vain or megalomaniacal or what have you.

We had a long conversation about it and she really opened my eyes to it. Sarah has always been someone I can turn to when I am creatively stuck and she will set me on the right track. I used to call her my muse for a reason.

During the conversation I told her why I was asking; that I wanted to do a self portrait and I couldn’t settle on a style. She said without hesitation, “you should do it like the one you did of me, Birth.”

I was like “…son of a bitch…”

Sarah has always been on my wavelength but it just felt like the final bit of closure I needed to run with the idea finally. That this was the one that would work.

I had a hard time accepting myself as the model. I have never put a man in my artwork at all, let alone myself! I also couldn’t just fuck off and come back to the idea later. I wanted it to be the 50th so I was stuck.

I must have retaken the pictures in my apartment 4 times. I did them all myself with my Canon 50D on a tripod. I felt asking one of my photographer friends to help would have been putting another artists touch on the overall thing. I respect my photographer friends so I don’t look at them as just “people pushing a button.” I didn’t want to have any of their artistic style in this so I did it myself.

It took awhile to really click but once it did, it just fit together effortlessly.

I did not save a lot of WIP’s (work in progress) while I was working on “Stray Bullet.” Not sure why. I don’t think I ever fully committed to the idea that it would work. In fact I accidentally saved over my “blank.psd” file, a file I use for each art piece, and never bothered renaming it. It still is named blank. Well, blank4a.psd.

Because of that I cannot show you it’s entire creation process.

I can tell you it involved 113 Adobe Illustrator files and 9 PSD’s totaling over 9.31 GB. This style has no tricks; it’s an absolute ton of layers. The video below, while it may seem like one layer, is actually a bunch of layers in an Adobe Illustrator file embedded inside Adobe Photoshop. Meaning each “step” could be one layer in Adobe Photoshop but contain 500 layers in Adobe Illustrator.

So while this is hardly a step by step video showing the creation of “Stray Bullet,” it is a layer by layer breakdown of my final PSD. It is still the most detailed video I have made showing my process from beginning to end.

Here are some pictures I took to send friends during it’s creation:

It’s been a project in the work for over 9 months and I am proud to have it finally finished. I hope you all enjoy it. My 50th piece, my first self portrait, the first time a man has been in my artwork… it has a lot of challenge to it but I am very proud of what I accomplished with it.

Thanks for reading.

I will explain the story behind this as well as show the making of this work later today. For now, I hope you enjoy my latest work and have a safe and happy new year!

Merry Christmas. I hope you all have a safe and happy holiday.

-Brandon

Here are some pictures from my Photoshop Class this past weekend at the Northwest Florida Arts Association’s Art Lair in Downtown Fort Walton Beach, Florida. Thank you to everyone who came out. I had a great time teaching you all and I hope we can do it again soon. =)

This class was on the Sucker Punch style inspired by the movie. If you have something specific you want to learn to make in Photoshop, send me a message on Facebook and I will do a class on it.

Thank you very much to Angel Agagas for taking these pictures!

Here is what Charles’ finished product looked like:

This is what I will be teaching people to make this weekend at my Photoshop Workshop. Head on over to the NWFLAA site and register. Space is limited for sure!

The other day I was having a rather delightful conversation with a friend of mine about the concept of “shock.” Not in the extremely painful “put your bellend in Lord Rayden’s hand” way, either. We were discussing the ever annoying trend of how shocking people seems to be a goal these days.

It seems every few months some new internet video, movie, musician, artist, etc. tries to shock the world into paying attention to them. But why? What’s the goal? That’s where we are going to end up but first a little backstory.

I, like many people my age, are children of the internet. I am also a part of this sub-section of people that seem to enjoy being shocked. Telling me a horror film is the grossest film of all time is virtually begging me to watch it. You know my type; the person in the office who, when everyone else is freaking out over the latest 2girls1cup video is found sitting at their desk eye rolling that people are shocked by this shit (cwutididthar?). Quite simply: there exists a type of person now that is incredibly desensitized to horrific and disgusting things.

WE are the targets of these shock campaigns: not you. Allow me to explain.

The average person (let’s call them Poncey) isn’t exposed to websites like 4chan. Poncey has never heard of The Human Centipede or goatse. Poncey is easy to shock. There is no reason to one-up the fucked up shit of yesterday if you are targeting Poncey. Poncey is shocked by the average PG-13 horror film trailer.

People like Tom Six (the director of The Human Centipede) target people like me… they want to be Christ figures to a niche market. The most fucked up of the fucked up. They are attracted to the challenge of offending the most jaded, numb people alive.

For what purpose though? Is shocking people a good idea? Is there merit to it, or is it a simple flash in the pan? Is it just a quick 15 minutes of fame (or shame in some cases)? This is where the discussion get’s fun.

Shock for the sake of shock is pointless to me. Doing something disgusting to your body to shock me is easy but does nothing in the long run. If your goal is to simply make me think “man that guy was a fucking idiot” 3 years from the time I see your video (like 1 guy 1 jar) then by all means, shock me because that’s all your going to get from me in that regard. I will buy the ticket and take the ride but there will be no return.

However I do think shock can be used as a very, very intelligent tool if used properly. To a degree I think one of the most successful organizations in terms of productive shocking is PETA. Whether it’s disgusting, fucked up pictures of animals or naked women covering their bodies with their hands, they manage to produce a concise and clear message with their shock. They get your attention and then they slap you with some message. That is productive shock and exactly the way shock should be used. Whether I agree with PETA’s politics or not is irrelevant and by no means am I taking a stand as pro-PETA or anything; I’m simply saying I can appreciate an intelligently put together plan/message regardless of whether I agree with it’s message or not.

To an extent Mel Gibson accomplished a similar successful campaign with The Passion of the Christ. While I felt the movie was a bit of tripe, it did shock this country into having an almost renewal of faith. Of course now everyone knows he is (and has always been) a complete tosser and the anti-semitism of the movie was insane, it still accomplished what I believe his goal was: to shock people into believing. Where Gibson failed was the aftermath and this is where virtually all “shock” artists fail horribly.

Marilyn Manson is a perfect example to me of a fail shock artist. I know a lot of my friends are going to read that and shit bricks but hear me out… I love Marilyn Manson’s music, persona, everything about him except the shock. I truly think his most recent album, The High End of Low, is one of his best albums minus the 2 shock tracks. I mean come on, who didn’t read the song title “Arma-Goddamn-Motha-Fucking-Geddon” and eye roll? I’m surprised the record label even let that out. I woulda axe’d that shit from jump and told his ass “you’re not in high school anymore dude; stick with the substance.”

And that is where virtually all shock artists fail: substance.

Let’s stick with Manson for a minute. Marilyn Manson, without a doubt, had everyone’s attention in 1996. When he released Antichrist Superstar, he had the entire world in the palm of his hand. Everyone knew his name. I remember schools banned kids from wearing his shirts on campus; he was a fucking threat. Antichrist Superstar is a badass album as well; arguably one of the best and most important albums of the 1990′s. It effectively took the movement Nirvana started and crucified it.

So once the world was paying attention to him ready to hear whatever he had to say… what did he say? NOT A FUCKING THING. He was on every news station nightly and what did he do with this publicity? Nothing. Fuck all. He pissed it away. He wasted it all by trying to be a vague, ambiguous mystery person. My guess is he thought this would keep people interested in him; a constant search to find out who Marilyn Manson is or what he is about. It did the opposite. “Oh you’ve got nothing to say? Alright then. Ktxhbai.”

Nowadays he tries very hard to get back to that same level of importance; singing songs like “We’re From America” in hopes someone will be shocked and offended and pay attention to him but guess what? You had your chance, man. You could have changed things but you did nothing with the power you had. No one cares anymore; focus on your art, not trying to become a cultural icon again. We get it. You don’t dig Jesus. Right on. Got anything else to say? Then sit the fuck down. Oh and by art I mean music, not the watercolors. While I know a lot of people who are fans of his paintings but I simply see it all as “trying too hard.”

A more modern example is Lady GaGa. To me, she did the exact same thing Marilyn Manson has done but in a much less polarizing way. After The Fame Monster came out she was everywhere; she was #1 fucking everywhere. So then it comes time for her follow up album and I expected something with depth. Something with substance. I truly feel it did not deliver; it’s a good album don’t get me wrong (well, it’s okay, not as good as The Fame Monster) but she said nothing. Did nothing with this attention. GaGa fans can tell me all day how her songs are about a seemingly infinite amount of scenarios but listen… I’m an artist. I have heard artists bullshit the meanings behind something when asked. I get it. You can make anything about anything if you want to, especially when you’re talking to sycophants.

Very similar to Marilyn Manson she can go on any talk show in the world at any time and say whatever she wants and be heard so what does she do? Fuck all.

I know she is seen as some sort of LGBT icon and I think her shows and music are fantastic support for that cause; however I think she still tip toes the line of “saying what I want” and “saying what will sell.” She doesn’t draw any lines in the sand. She’s a diet version of Marilyn Manson; half the shock, but the same amount of substance. Yeah, I know Lady GaGa pulls her albums from chains that are notoriously anti-LGBT but is that really a big step in a world where downloads count for far more sales than actual pressed CD’s? I know it’s fun to see her as a rebel taking a stand but really think about how big of a difference that makes in the long run; especially considering Lady GaGa, not Target, went bankrupt. Just sayin’.

The problem is I don’t think these individuals had plans. The goal was to get attention; they never worried about what to do once they got it.

What is currently considered by most hardcore shock-fans as the most shocking and disturbing film ever made is A Serbian Film. I have written at great length about this film already on this website so I will skip over details; however I will say that the creators of the film claim it is about the following:

From Wikipedia:

In another interview Spasojević is quoted as saying “my shocking ‘A Serbian Film’ exposes the fascism of political correctness”. On the question of whether the violence depicted deals with Serbian soldiers and war crimes that they have committed, Spasojević answers: “‘Srpski Film’ does not touch upon war themes, but in a metaphorical way deals with the consequences of postwar society and a man that is exploited to the extreme in the name of securing the survival of his family”

To that… all I have to say is “yeah but… no.” While this may have been some sort of intended message from jump the film hardly conveys this message well. I don’t think the average viewer will walk away with any resemblance of that message in their mind. I do stand by it being the most shocking film I have ever seen, though. If you’re up for a wild ride I recommend it but it’s substance is actually more on how well the production is. The lighting and acting are incredible; but the message, the aftertaste you experience once the credits roll is not a feeling of message or substance. The film does end on this “society is a vicious cycle” message but sometimes I think the shock can steal the spotlight from the actual point and A Serbian Film is guilty of this.

In conclusion I truly believe shocking people can be a good thing. It’s a weapon and in the right hands it can bring about change but when used as simply a means to get attention without any sort of plan… it’s worthless.

If you want my attention I will give it to you but you better do something meaningful once you have it.

Yes, I am going to answer all of these. Stop emailing me! I swear I get 10 emails saying “will you answer my question?”

Anyways… here we go. Another round…

do you feel you make better art in cold or warm rooms?

Cold. I’m more comfortable in the cold period. I have no idea why I live in this area of Florida… well, actually I do. The people mostly. I love the people of this area. Most people here genuinely care about one another and I dig that.

do you like hot air balloons?

I’m not sure I have ever thought about it. I am quite a fan of that song… Up, Up and Away in my beautiful my beautiful balloon…

But sure. I’d say hot air balloons are cool. I’ve never been in one but I’d be down with the right person I think. Maybe someday. =)

what do you feel is the most timeless art work you have ever seen?

Starry Night by Van Gogh comes to mind. Or the Last Supper honestly.

would you ever use more athletic women in your artwork?

I think the women in my artwork are athletic most of the time actually.

when will you put out some new art work?

I try to do one a month honestly. However my latest piece is proving more difficult than usual for me. The subject is not something I am used to working with.

would you ever publish your artwork in a book form?

Yes and I have often thought about writing a book. I’m just not sure how hard it is to make that happen. If anyone has any advice that has written books hit me up, I’m certainly open to it. I have an interesting story for sure.

do you feel your artwork has a message most people can understand?

Yes. I do.

what is the worst moment you’ve ever had in being an artist?

Hmm… early on I did a piece using a stock photo my friend took. I sent it to the model and she hated it. She recommended some changes and I took them. It was early on and I took her advice and she still hated it. I changed it to the way I wanted and stopped caring.

But that reaction sucked.

do you feel youll look back someday and wonder what you were thinking with some of your art work?

I do it not with my early work so fuck yes.

So here we are again. The Human Centipede. Before I go in, here’s the TLDR version for you people… this movie is black and white except for one color, brown, used only when shit is on the screen. Well, human shit. With this movie there’s constantly shit on the screen but filming it in sepia would be a bit more work so let’s bin that idea.

Let’s backtrack a little. The first film seemed to divide people into 3 sections:

• People that had no desire to see a movie about people being sewn ass to mouth (most people fall into this box here)
• People who saw it and hated it
• People who saw it based on hype about how gross it was and were disappointed (I fall into this box)

Most people I know didn’t just stumble upon this movie. It spread like wildfire because of the insane premise of chaining 3 people together ass to mouth. The Human Centipede was getting “grossest movie ever” hype when it first hit the scene so people like myself flocked to it to see if it delivered. I am one of those people and it did not deliver. I haven’t heard anyone who thought the first film was the grossest film they’ve ever seen. The reason is it showed very, very little. It left everything to the imagination. Scenes about feces were especially glossed over almost in an attempt to make the film more accessible.

Since the release of the first film it’s hype has been completely destroyed and raped by A Serbian Film (read my review of A Serbian Film here) and it does deserve that hype. Maybe not grossest film ever but definitely most fucked up I have seen. However the first film still had some charm to it. I enjoyed the almost porn-star level acting of the main girls and the over the top Rutger Hauer-esque doctor. I mean who didn’t laugh when he was yelling “FEED HER~!” over and over? That was a good chuckle!

From here on, I’m going into spoiler territory of these films. Not that any major plot twists happen… they are shallow movies that could be written on a napkin. But warning anyway.

So when I heard they were making a sequel I was curious how… the first film ends with the badass doctor dying. How can they make a sequel then? Then I heard the premise and thought it was a very smart approach. It’s about a fan of the first film who decides to do it for real. I love movies that break the fourth wall. My favorite “Nightmare on Elm Street” movie aside from the first is A New Nightmare because of it’s approach to mixing “real” people with fictional characters.

Then I began hearing the hype machine again; that Human Centipede 2 would pull no punches and be far more graphic than the first film. The twisted fucking pile of filth the first film promised to be; NOW it would deliver. Tom Six announced the film would be in black and white and I was incredibly disappointed with that call: it’s not that I have a thing against black and white films. Hell, Angel-A is one of my favorite movies of all time. However I think when you are going for gross out gore… color helps. Good color, at least. We’ve all seen the neon red blood of B-movies and laughed but when color is done right, it can make something gross so much grosser.

But okay, it’s independent film and I’d rather it be black and white than be poorly colored, so okay, I’m down still.

Finally today I sat down to watch it and man… what a let down.

They tried very hard to be grosser and gorier, obviously putting the budget of the film into special effects but in doing so, they sacrificed the rest of the film. The centipede isn’t even attempted until the 1 hour mark. The movie is only 80 minutes long!

Everything before the Centipede is way longer than it needs to be and has no depth or meaning. Meaningless scenes of him randomly killing people (instead of collecting people for his centipede…?). He must kill 10+ people not even including the centipede people. It’s just mindless and shallow. They try to incorporate some subplot about sexual deviation but it goes nowhere. None of this movie goes anywhere. It’s a movie without purpose or message.

There is some HILARIOUSLY AWFUL FILM MAKING here, folks. My favorite is a scene where his mother walks into his room to try and kill him. She stabs the bed with the knife multiple times and begins sobbing, thinking she killed her son. He walks in and turns the light on, she stares at him and then he lays down on the bed where she was stabbing and closes his eyes. She then slits her wrists and walks to the end of the bed, picks up a collage book he had made from images of the first film, and they argue about it.

Yes. You read that right. I didn’t fuck that up. She slits her wrists then they argue over a book.

Does she bleed to death? Naw. In fact the movie seems to forget she even sliced her arteries open the minute she touches the book. No, I’m not making this shit up.

I SAW IT! I WAS THERE!

It set out to be grosser than the first film but all it really did was put more fecal matter in it. The rest of the effects (even the mouth/asshole effect) are down WAY worse and way lazier than they were in the first film. EVERYTHING TOOK A STEP BACK TO GET SHIT IN THE FILM. LITERALLY.

Literally what they felt was the most important thing to the film

However the last 15 minutes are just flat out hilarious. I will try my best to remember it at all.

First you have a woman who is pregnant (previously she was “dead”) get up and run out the front door. Dude goes after her, she locks herself in a car and delivers the baby. Just pushes it out on the floor board of the car. She then turns the car on and, with him trying to break the window, steps on her baby to hit the gas pedal.

forget hybrids; this car is powered by newborn!

A girl then knocks the guy down, puts a funnel in his asshole and puts a centipede in this shitpipe.

Yeah this movie went all over the place…

It went there.

Anyways I say skip it. However if you had any morbid curiosity about it, here you go. It’s all here. Enjoy.